April 15, 2013

Full time

Being a full time anything can be ridiculously stressful! Much more when you are a full time mom, housekeeper, Facebook and 9gag addict and part time online jobbie.

I know, right?

So I've managed to work around these many slashes and found a great time management technique.

Here are the tips:
1. Wake up when the baby is up and this is usually around 5-6am-ish. It is likely that the baby is hungry and will want breakfast i.e., milk and Cerelac. 

2. Clean up the mess from the milk and Cerelac session. Put on baby videos for the baby to watch and enjoy. Reward thyself for the hardwork by turning on computer and indulge in Facebook and 9gag.

3. When the baby sounds bored (you will know by the sound of the cry or mumbling), carry her for a while, enjoy cuddle time, repeat what the video says (because at this point, you already know all videos by heart)

4. At this time, the baby will begin to feel sleepy. Slowly put her down in the crib and pat on her buttocks to ensure a faster trip to hypnagogia. Tap more to lock sleep position.

5. Go back immediately to computer and waste time on Facebook and 9gag.

6. By 10:30am, or when the baby cries, whichever comes first, approach the crib and talk to her like an adult and ask questions like, are you hungry na? do you want lunch? The baby will either respond in a baby talk with a smile and in this case, she's probably saying Yes to the questions. If she responds with a cry, in this case, she's probably saying Damnit yes, I am hungry mother. Go fucking make my lunch and hurry with it.

7. Feed the baby. 

8. Again, clean up after the mess. The baby might want to watch videos again and there may be interesting things on Facebook, so put on the videos for her to watch.

9. Check in on her. She might be sleeping already and you can continue with Facebook and 9gag.

10. It's mid-afternoon. The baby will wake up and require some munchies. It's handy to keep baby-friendly cookies like those with made with oatmeal.

11. Spend some lap time with baby. Have her sit on your lap and watch Youtube videos together. Sneak in some Facebook and 9gag time in betweens.

12. If she gets bored, you will know when she moves a lot and is itching to go down, put her back in the crib  with toys and videos on. Get back to the computer for continued Facebook and 9gag fun(?). 

13. The baby may attempt to call your attention from the crib in the room and you are in the living room, just answer in the same baby language and she will understand that you are busy with Facebook and 9gag.

14. When it gets dark approach baby and ask if she wants her dinner already. She will give you her biggest smile and that's a sign for you.

15. Feed her with Cerelac and milk.

16. Clean up mess and prepare bath water.

17. Clean the baby from head to toe. Play with her in the bath for a while then it's time to towel dry and clothe the baby for nighttime sleep.

18. At this time, lower your voice. Prepare a little bit of milk for her to drink just to enforce her fullness and induce sleepiness. The faster the baby sleeps, the earlier you can get set for the night by Facebooking and 9gag-ing before work time.

19. Eat dinner, dimwit. You missed breakfast and lunch already. Unless you are on a crash diet, well, go and nurture yourself and have some energy for Facebook and 9gag.

20. Turn on TV and watch soap operas while on Facebook and 9gag.

21. After it all, wash the dishes, clean the kitchen, sweep the floor, mop it clean, arrange stuff, smoke it. Joke! Seriously, arrange some stuff. It helps with your integrity. 

22. I'm pretty sure after doing all those from 5-6am-ish, you are going to smell stinky. Shower, stat!

23. You will feel fresh and renewed and given new wind for Facebook and 9gag.

24. Be aware of your start time. Check the baby. Make sure she doesn't need anything else before you start working. If she does, attend to the baby first. 

25. Work. Finally!

26. Check staff's work diary. Reprimand them if you see a single shot of Facebook or 9gag. Or any other non-work related shots. 

27. Stop time log. Check on Facebook and 9gag for 5mins.

28. No more excuses this time. Work must be done. 

29. Stop work at 2am. Fix the baby some milk and sleep. If bf is still not home, text him to come home. If he's home, make some coffee and initiate small talk. 

30. By 2:30am-ish, get in bed and....... sleep. 

31. When you wake up, do number 1 again to 31!

There you go! I've put together a list for you if these slashes should fit your foot, then feel free to try on the shoe! 

For what it's worth, all the hard times are still so worth it!

*the list above may or may not reflect the writer's behavior and day to day tasks. on some days, there may or may not be a slight deviation. 

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