July 3, 2012


Once in a blue moon I find myself looking around folders in my laptop and online, and almost always I stumble on old write-ups of mine that totally surprise me. These write-ups are hauntingly mine, yet I feel so far away from it. Which is why I need to remind myself once again to always write what I feel because I will never be the same again.

This picture reminds me of my carefree days

Specimen 1, subject: Loose ends

If one thing is being done at a frequency that could well be in line with the mandatory or necessary such as breathing, people tend to take this thing for granted. Like breathing. There is a proper way established both by science and alternative science, though at this point, as far as I am concerned, each of their published methods have not been reconciled. So, disregarding that there is actually a proper way to breathe, many people suffer physical pains due to minimal oxygen inhalation, thus minimizing intended oxygen absorption of our red cells and finally making true the theory called Domino Effect. Lungs will not then be expanded up to its capacity, our brains will not have enough supply needed for all its areas to function properly and lowering down all systems of the body. Bad physical state + bad mental state = Trouble to the nth power. Now, if only babies are taught this the second they come out...

Going back to the first sentence and in another perspective, if one thing is being delivered in the same amount at the same time, the taking-it-for-granted feeling that will result is natural. Natural for humans. Why? Because humans are naturally greedy. They come across something either by luck, chance, or even if it's something they worked hard to get to, at some point they become greedy for whatever reason they can come up with.

Loose ends. If something goes out of line, routine, track, path, plan or maze, it is called a loose end. If it happens on a bigger scale, loose ends. There are a lot of ways to deal with this challenge. Fix it. Iron it out. Put it back on track. Specific, problem-oriented solutions. Simple. 

Then down the road another loose end shows up. Identify the problem and fix it. Done. Say, for an ISP's client with internet issues, it would be easy to have them call again as that's going to be another cash in for the company. "Your inconvenience is our Business!". But this does not apply in real life. Once, twice, three times, maybe. But for repeats after the third one would just be plain stupidity. Lucky for you if there is a support group who can get wind of your dilemma and you might just be in for an adrenalin rush. Like the last round of a high stakes boxing match viewed live international, you wearing a wool and fleece, foam-padded and bullet proof head gear with bullet proof glass eye shield. You get to win, but only if you are good in fighting it out but in the end, you will still come out unhappy when you are finally left to your own devices to fight your demons alone. 

When we come to a loose end, it's ideal to be mentally and psychologically present in the situation. The presence referred here is the attention, focus and time required to be able to see through any kind of challenge. Forget goals, or the next step, buy time to look back and reflect on what happened and change your strategy. Solving one problem at a time loses its effectiveness after three accounts. 

The first experience of a high is always one of the things we almost never forget. The best. Out of this world. One of a kind. Can't quite replicate that. We try and try to get that feeling again but we have already forfeited our chances. We only get to have that once in our lives, then we move on to another that can give us more high than the previous one did. We always top it off with something.

Life is short and there can only be so much that we can do in one lifetime. Unless we are gifted with the believed 9 lives of cats. We can do something in moderation, chew on it until it loses its flavor, dispose of it properly and look for a new gum with new flavor or color perhaps to excite us. Buy that dream denims, wear it out, name it as your favorite jeans. One day, the fashion industry tells you there's a new style for jeans and it's hot right now. You head out and get yourself one, wear it until the fad fades. Then you go back to your closet and grab your old fave jeans and you feel most comfortable like the time you first tried it on. 

Some things are meant to be had, cherished and left for a while. Because we know we will always feel at home with that. We try on new things then use it until it loses its capacity to sustain our interest. We bid goodbye then go back to the ones we left then we would feel ourselves again. 

Special: something you always go back to, accept you even after a long period of separation. A lace-up shoe is always better to run in. You may need to tie it up once in a while but it never gives up on you, like a strap-on shoe will. 

*Something is losing out on its effect, maybe the quality or the frequency, I'm yet to find out. But either of the two, this point calls for a break to recuperate.


Specimen 2, subject: Curiosity kills
It sure didn't kill you or me. It killed something else.


Anyone who has ever survived this life up to a point where there are evidences of fruits of it will say that there can only be one love. 

Sadly, there are people who are just curious to try what it feels like to be in love again, as their own supply of love which they have subscribed to back then just doesn't cut it anymore. So they detour and find another love.

He loves her. She got shocked. But she loved him back. He is happy. She is ecstatic. They are both lucky.

Or so they think.

All good things must come to an end. But real good things never fail to produce a sequel. It's a cycle of good and bad, but what matters most is that it remains a cycle until you both are dead. Which immortalizes this saying, 'til death do us part. Ironic.

Do not give up on love. No matter how small, big, quick, dangerous, romantic, friendly... Doesn't matter. Love is love. You don't stop loving a person unless there is no more. And when there isn't any left, you will both know. Until then, keep loving. This makes the world go round and eventually the world will be a better place.

Curiosity doesn't kill. Lack of it does. Curiosity leads to discovery, which leads to events, self-knowledge, enlightenment, awareness, appreciation, new vision and finally love. 

*My heart bleeds for what might be the probable near future of the above story. I hope they find it in themselves to truly accept that they love each other greatly, despite their past and present. For tomorrow is only for fools. As the famous line goes, Why not now?

That's all for tonight, chums. I will try to sleep again and hopefully this time, I will fall into hynagogic state. 

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