June 21, 2012


On this day last year, I was just off something and kind off out of balance for quite some time. I had gone thru quite a realization that if I don't stop, what happened to me the night before June 17 would surely happen again. So I stopped. Just like that.

Today, I am solidly off it. Not since I quit but since I found out I was pregnant earlier of this year. I am on my 6th month now, struggling with my sensitive pregnancy and going in and out of the hospital. Medications saves me and my baby from the unmentionable.

So what has changed since then? Last year I was quite the lost one, still feeling my way thru the holes and pits, not yet steady and sure. Today, I am feeling quite sure of where I am going and how I'm going to get there. They may be people who are compromised at this point but I am confident I will be able to get back to them as soon as I am able. Patience does have a price, but I am willing to risk it because I believe what matters is the ability, and not the situation.

I learned, unlearned and relearned a lot of things from the past up to date and I have nothing to regret. They all have taught me that I have myself to trust, that I have a lot of things to be smiling about, and there are a lot of ways to be happy. So I choose to be happy despite the struggles because one day all these will end and everyone will be happy again. Maybe not at the same time, but we all will.


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